The Life-Ready Bar

An African and an Aussie walk into a hotel to enrol in a course. They’re met in the foyer by a well-dressed lady who shows them to a room with three exit doors. The first door has a sign above it that says, School-Ready Bar, the second door says, Job-Ready Bar and the third door, Life-Ready Bar.

‘Which one would you like to attempt?’ the lady asks, looking at the men.

‘Life-Ready,’ the Aussie, says, laughing.

‘Are you sure?’ the African asks, looking wide-eyed at the Aussie.

‘Easy-peasy,’ the Aussie says, winking at the lady.

The African follows the Aussie through the Life-Ready door. When they walk in, a bloke with a huge set of wings, a deep scar across his face and an angelic look, meets them at the bar and hands each of them a schooner, brimful of a mysterious, red liquid.

‘Any questions boys?’ the angel asks.

There’s a long silence, and then a sound of bolting and double bolting of the door they came through. Both men look around at the door; the Aussie talking nervously and the African saying that the place feels familiar. They stop talking and look at the angel who simply stares back at them.

‘Is there a way out of here?’ the Aussie asks, swallowing.

‘Nope,’ the angel says, shaking his head.

‘You mean I’m stuck in here forever?’

‘Didn’t anyone tell you?’ the African asks, putting a hand on the Aussie’s shoulder.

The angel sighs and drums his fingers on the bar.

‘I have two questions,’ the Aussie says, trembling. ‘”Does it hurt?” and “Is it fair?”‘

The angel just looks at him, laughs, and then turns to the African.

‘Haven’t I met you before?’ the African asks, sweat breaking out on his forehead.

‘You have,’ the angel says, smiling and passing a battered sword over the bar to him. ‘We’ve granted you recognised prior learning.’